Awesome is the New Rich

I have been looking forward to writing this article for a few months. The reason? I woke one day recently and realised, “Holy shit, I’m rich”. And since then I’ve been trying to step away from the luxury by which I find myself surrounded, to entertain the good folks who read this perfectly priced street press publication known as Blank GC.

So how did I come across such fortune? Was it a win on the pokies? Perhaps an inheritance package? Or perhaps (stifling giggles) I earned it through hard-work, sacrifice and commitment? No. In fact, my bank balance read much the same as it has in the previous years. A little bit of a financial cushion in case my fridge breaks or I choose to dine at Sizzler. I have a steady income with no bonuses, not even holiday pay. And no, I am not a meth dealer. Or pimp. Or a meth dealing pimp who recently got lucky at the pokies.

In fact, the riches in which I find myself able to indulge are not of a financial nature. Sure, having a bit of surplus cash after the bills are paid is fortunate. But the serenity I experience, the peace of mind and occasional surges of happiness are not and probably will never be directly related to my bank balance.

It wasn’t a cheesy spiritual moment where I felt the glow of sunshine on my face and a connection to some sort of divine force. I just felt really fucking rich. Quality food in the fridge, a tidy apartment to seek shelter under and some great friends, family and friendly strangers to interact with in a day. I even met a nice lady who was willing to have sex with me. Winning!!!

In fact I possessed surplus of all these elements. So much that I felt compelled to share it with others. And just how do I do that? Well I can feed a friend while they enjoy the comforts of my couch. Or I could intentionally bring the conversation to light through my daily interactions. Celebrate the realisation that I, humble old me, was living like a goddamn millionaire. Free to do what I want. Seriously. How the hell did this happen? I swear I was broke and miserable just months ago.

A wise man once suggested to me “Andrew, if we were to fly off on a magic carpet ride and see the way in which most other people on this planet live, you would soon appreciate that you are sitting high in the pyramid of fortune”.

A winner of the life lottery. Born into privilege. Safety, security and love. What a blessing. So why then, do we spend so many of our interactions comparing ‘aussie battler’ stories, or waving our fists at the rich who get richer? Why do I not remember celebrating, with friends or friendly strangers, on a regular basis, just how awesome it is to have inherited all these privileges?

I am certain that 99% of the people who get their hands on a copy of Blank GC were born into the same privilege. And simply by following a few simple rules: Say please and thank you; Don’t touch that, it’s hot; Stay in school and try not to be an arsehole. Then bam, you’re grown up and you’ve got a safe place to live, food in the fridge and a tribe of friends and family you can celebrate, commiserate or just shoot the breeze with.

Surely, the social trend to talk of “being hard done by” belongs only to previous generations who truly did things tough. The quality of life today is not dissimilar to that of kings and queens of just 4-5 generations ago. Squalor was the norm for most. No electricity and just dirty smelly bastards all over the place. But now as we drive around in air-con 4-wheel animals that live on liquid that some other dude dug out of the ground on our way to a job that on the hardest day is still mostly void of impending death, returning home to a family that is most likely to still be alive, what do we talk of. “You would not believe the traffic!”.

It’s hard to feel rich when you really are. As I mentioned, I only just realised it in 2015, thirty something years into my personal life journey. And I would like to celebrate it one last time. How good is it to be rich! I am ready and willing to share this good news with all my homies. And if you can’t feel it, seek help. Seek Buddha, Jesus, Allah or maybe just your local mental health professional. Because your issue is perspective in nature and completely unrelated to your pay cheque. Try turning off the enormous flat screen HD TV that you want to upgrade and just scream out how damn fortunate you are. Because I promise you, that the day a man’s worth was measured by his accumulations of material goods, and his prestige by the heights of occupational reach he had accomplished, are dying. Owning slaves and smoking cigarettes were once symbolic of the well-to-do. The 20th century model of success is redundant. Awesome is the new rich. Try to keep up. Spread the word Blankers. Peace.

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