Fringe Dweller – detox

I can’t pinpoint exactly when it happened. My transformation to part-time hippy. But it probably coincided with deciding I was going to be a ‘proper’ adult.  Growing up I’d always loved tie-dye clothes, crystals, the idea of reincarnation and thinking I had spiritual contact with the other side. In reality I was just another self-obsessed, Twistie eating, chain store wearing teenager who liked to party.

Even when I broadened my horizons with 8 years of overseas living about the only ‘natural’ thing I discovered was Echinacea for colds, and I thought that was ground-breaking! I had several friends who were naturopaths and I had tried time and again to give away my high white carb gluten and dairy based diet but I just loved my pasta and toast too much. There was nothing to sway me. No need to convert. Until, I guess, I decided it was time to prepare my body to have a baby.

After umpteen years on the pill and a great social life I thought I probably needed a serious detox, I know my husband certainly did. So we decided on one of the least romantic honeymoon options available: A 7 day total detox on Koh Samui, Thailand. Not a scrap of food passed our lips in that time. We could drink water and one bowl of vegetable peel broth per day (as awful as it sounds). We filled our stomachs with psyllium husk and clay and took handfuls of restorative pills multiple times a day. The kicker? Twice daily, self-administered coffee colonics! Now for the uber keen (of which we were not) you had the option of basically putting a colander underneath to catch the output so you could examine it! People have reportedly seen toy soldiers, crayons and other undigested follies of their youth, as well as copious amounts of undigested steak. As the days progress you notice the output becoming ‘clearer’ and ‘cleaner’ as the detox works its magic.

We spent our days enjoying Oolong tea ceremonies, ogling at the people who used hard drugs all their lives and now looked 15 years younger than their age thanks to detox and a raw food lifestyle, partaking in yoga, meditation, lots of massage, experiencing every kind of alternative healing under the sun, and watching DVD after DVD about the unhealthy western way of life.

To say it was eye-opening and life-changing undervalues the immense awakening we both experienced. After returning home I craved a bowl of macaroni cheese. After making it I just sat there looking at it, feeling ill. I didn’t eat pasta or bread for 6 months afterwards. All I craved were salads and fruit. This wasn’t my mind thinking logically, it was my body demanding health over psychological comfort. And I was benefitting! Clearer skin, shiny hair, strong nails, brighter eyes, and at our very first try at conception – jackpot! I was sold on the idea of natural living, which in our crazy world means alternative living, and I was going to revolutionise my world. One slice of toast at a time.

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