Whole lotta beard

The Beards: A whole lotta beard!


Kicking off their tour at Bluesfest, Adelaide band The Beards have taken their comedic approach to music and built a cult following. Christie Ots caught up with the band at Bluesfest to discuss beards, beards and no beards.

– – – – –

Let’s take a look at The Beards. Nathaniel Beard (bass, vocals), John Beardman (drums, vocals), Johann Beardraven (vocals, guitar, sax), and Facey McStubblington (guitar, vocals).

It’s pretty clear to anyone one who has seen The Beards live, or heard one of their songs, that there is one thing these guys live for – beards.

Not only has the band managed to produce three beard-themed albums since forming in 2005, with the latest titled Having a beard is the new not having a beard, all of their songs are very much pro-beard.

Having played at Bluesfest last year the band feels at home amongst the other bearded artists and punters that populate the festival grounds. The first thing the guys establish is that they love beards and they’re disappointed that I don’t have one.

Coincidentally the first single release from their upcoming album, All The Bearded Ladies, discusses the stigma that bearded woman must feel.

“They’re often shunned and we want to change that,” Nathaniel says, “They often shave their beards to avoid the stigma that comes with having a beard.”

The band is touring extensively this year, finishing up in Launceston, 9 August and will be performing at The Sound Lounge in Currumbin 3 July.

They fear a shaving epidemic has gripped the Gold Coast.

“I think that’s why it’s important that we come back to the Gold Coast, because I think they need us more than any other place in Australia. The tendency to shave is rampant over there,” Nathan said.

“I worry that bearded men on the Gold Coast are ostracized and questioned by their beardless friends as to why they have a beard,” Johann added.

Songs like If Your Dad Doesn’t Have A Beard, You’ve Got Two Mums, a penchant for hilarious crowd interaction and their glorious beards are just some of the reasons why the band was nominated for both Comedy Album of The Year and Comedy Song of The Year in 2012.

There’s no doubt these fellas take their beards seriously. They explain in some detail that if one of them were to lose their beard in a horrific angle-grinding accident, it would destroy the entire band.

Nathaniel warns Johann,“I would make it my business to destroy you. I would destroy your reputation, all of your ties with loved ones and family, your professional relationships. I would basically make it so that it was as though you had never existed. People would not come to your funeral.”

Johann nods as if this is perfectly acceptable and expected. “That’s what Nathaniel would want us to do for him,” John adds.

The guys debate whether you could simply go into seclusion until the beard grew back, to which the answer is no – no self respecting member of The Beards could go even a day without their beard.

Looking forward to hitting the road for the remainder of the year, it is clear that these men are on a serious mission to spread beard awareness; and they are doing a damn good job at it!



Be first to comment